when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize