his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
