I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
