THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
