you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
