This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
