fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
