so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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