i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
