No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
