I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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