I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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