Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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