Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
