The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
