I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you still have your period?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
