if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize