i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
