; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
