I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
