how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
