it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
