Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
