I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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