Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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