Where did you get a picture of my penis
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize