SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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