okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
