can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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