then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
