It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
