If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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