Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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