And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
