WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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