but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
