My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
