How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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