Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize