She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
