we're blogging at a bar
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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