Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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