He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
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Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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