Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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