I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
