he wants to bone in the snuggie
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
