there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize