Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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