I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
