"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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