you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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