Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
