Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
