Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
