I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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