Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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