yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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