If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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