It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
