Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.

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(630): I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof. http://tfl.nu/he9o

Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

(770): View more from Georgia

I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

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(678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended? (770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet." http://tfl.nu/9zzp

Replies (6) Good night (2547) Bad night (787)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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(702): I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever http://tfl.nu/c1jo

Replies (11) Good night (1944) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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(403): by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal.... http://tfl.nu/sunu

Replies (26) Good night (691) Bad night (2871) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

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(217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1

Replies (17) Good night (795) Bad night (4322) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

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(304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www

Replies (42) Good night (1620) Bad night (14109) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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(208): he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something" http://tfl.nu/rcyf

Replies (26) Good night (7304) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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(989): View more from Michigan

Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.

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(989): Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street. http://tfl.nu/pdx2

Replies (9) Good night (2595) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2

Replies (4) Good night (2838) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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(605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd

Replies (1) Good night (2334) Bad night (611)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.

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(815): Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night. http://tfl.nu/jyfi

Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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(303): We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes... http://tfl.nu/lait

Replies (6) Good night (411) Bad night (1238)
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(585): View more from New York

It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.

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(585): It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate. http://tfl.nu/p0j4

Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?

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(586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon? http://tfl.nu/3p6a

Replies (2) Good night (2128) Bad night (243)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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(603): I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success. http://tfl.nu/py46

Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (237)

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