I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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