Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  from now on my penis is your penis

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  (650): from now on my penis is your penis http://tfl.nu/ipfj
  Replies (19) Good night (2900) Bad night (686)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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  (865): you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him? http://tfl.nu/jkhm
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (3548)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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  (623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej
  Replies (22) Good night (4529) Bad night (1136)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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  (504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2
  Replies (45) Good night (2233) Bad night (6773)
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  (626): View more from California

  There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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  (626): There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you. http://tfl.nu/ru1c
  Replies (4) Good night (3234) Bad night (777)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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  (503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk
  Replies (4) Good night (1248) Bad night (1870)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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  (614): This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off? http://tfl.nu/dr6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1407) Bad night (1173)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

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  (813): It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman" http://tfl.nu/5ocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1792) Bad night (839)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing

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  (+44): you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing http://tfl.nu/zvza
  Replies (10) Good night (4210) Bad night (1502)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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  (989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (733)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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  (406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5
  Replies (7) Good night (568) Bad night (1450)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?

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  (630): I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So? http://tfl.nu/1vsx
  Replies (6) Good night (617) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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  (361): Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/01wo
  Replies (7) Good night (1200) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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  (925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly
  Replies (1) Good night (962) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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  (705): It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet. (705): Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go! http://tfl.nu/wqgq
  Replies (0) Good night (802) Bad night (204)

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