im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
