Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??