im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.