Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4730) Bad night (598)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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  (812): i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy. http://tfl.nu/2x1u
  Replies (50) Good night (7154) Bad night (838)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.

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  (641): We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard. http://tfl.nu/xmhj
  Replies (12) Good night (4357) Bad night (1096)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

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  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (3438)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2704) Bad night (1023)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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  (719): I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush. http://tfl.nu/eys0
  Replies (11) Good night (2378) Bad night (803)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.

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  (720): She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that. http://tfl.nu/2gzq
  Replies (15) Good night (501) Bad night (1629)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.

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  (773): Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that. http://tfl.nu/tp3a
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (527)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.

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  (563): I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took. http://tfl.nu/2cez
  Replies (7) Good night (1299) Bad night (486)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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  (614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (700)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.

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  (541): I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards. http://tfl.nu/slrk
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (321)
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  (747): View more from California

  I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you

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  (747): I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you http://tfl.nu/r95i
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (614)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.

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  (702): This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there. http://tfl.nu/l8ar
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (426)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment

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  (703): I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/m0k3
  Replies (0) Good night (267) Bad night (610)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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  (406): fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke http://tfl.nu/cbs1
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (310)

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