One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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