Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
