Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
