i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
