I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
